If you’re a fan of Spaceballs, you’re likely searching for the most memorable, hilarious, and iconic quotes from this sci-fi parody masterpiece.
This list will save you time by gathering the funniest and most quotable lines all in one place.
From Dark Helmet’s absurd threats to Barf’s classic one-liners, these quotes will reignite your love for the film and give you plenty to laugh about.
If you’re looking to relive the best scenes or share witty references with friends, this collection of Spaceballs quotes is exactly what you need for a blast of comedy nostalgia.
Best Spaceballs Quotes
⭐ May the Schwartz be with you
⭐ I see your Schwartz is as big as mine
⭐ Ludicrous speed, go!
⭐ Prepare ship for ludicrous speed
⭐ Keep firing, assholes!
⭐ Comb the desert!
⭐ We’re not just doing this for money
⭐ She’s gone from suck to blow!
⭐ Yogurt! I hate Yogurt!
⭐ You idiots! You captured their stunt doubles!
⭐ Merchandising! Merchandising!
⭐ I’m surrounded by assholes!
⭐ Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Star
⭐ Out of order?! F**k! Even in the future nothing works!
Spaceballs Quotes Funny
😂 I’m your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate
😂 How many assholes we got on this ship anyway?
😂 Helmet! What happened?
😂 I bet she gives great helmet
😂 We ain’t found sh*t!
😂 Say goodbye to your two best friends
😂 I knew it, I’m surrounded by assholes!
😂 Knock on my door! Knock next time!
😂 She doesn’t look Druish
😂 Funny, she doesn’t look Druish
😂 There goes the planet
😂 What’s the matter, Colonel Sanders? Chicken?
😂 My hair! He shot my hair!
😂 I can’t breathe in this thing!
😂 Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz
Funny Spaceballs Quotes
🤣 Yogurt has taught you well
🤣 Spaceballs the T-shirt, Spaceballs the coloring book
🤣 We’re not just doing this for money
🤣 It’s Mega Maid! She’s gone from suck to blow
🤣 Why didn’t someone tell me my ass was so big?
🤣 Even in the future nothing works
🤣 Barf! Barf!
🤣 A Druish princess?
🤣 You call this a radar?
🤣 Smoke if you got ’em
🤣 Pizza the Hutt ate himself to death
🤣 He’s an asshole, sir!
🤣 Now you see that evil will always triumph
🤣 Raspberry! Only one man would dare give me the raspberry
🤣 Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become!
Spaceballs Quotes Plaid
🌀 They’ve gone to plaid!
🌀 Prepare ship for ludicrous speed
🌀 What the hell was that?
🌀 They’ve gone past light speed
🌀 They’ve gone to… what?!
🌀 Light speed is too slow
🌀 What happened? I lost the bleeps, I lost the sweeps, and I lost the creeps
🌀 What the hell am I looking at?
🌀 We’re going too fast
🌀 Slow it down after we’ve passed them
🌀 Stop this thing!
🌀 Ludicrous speed is dangerous
🌀 We’ve passed them!
🌀 It’s plaid!
🌀 I told you never to go to ludicrous speed!
Dark Helmet Spaceballs Quotes
🛡️ I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate
🛡️ Prepare ship for ludicrous speed
🛡️ I see your Schwartz is as big as mine
🛡️ Evil will always triumph
🛡️ You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine
🛡️ Say goodbye to your two best friends
🛡️ I bet she gives great helmet
🛡️ Knock on my door!
🛡️ No, I didn’t see you playing with your dolls
🛡️ Who made that man a gunner?
🛡️ I can’t breathe in this thing!
🛡️ Now you see that evil will always triumph
🛡️ My hair!
🛡️ Keep firing, assholes!
🛡️ Raspberry! Only one man would dare…
Dot Matrix Spaceballs Quotes
🤖 I don’t see them, Princess
🤖 I’m programmed for etiquette, not combat
🤖 Here, let me help you with that
🤖 What the hell was that noise?
🤖 I can’t believe you said that!
🤖 Nobody give me lip but me!
🤖 You’re going to have to marry him
🤖 If you don’t mind me saying so
🤖 I’ll alert the media
🤖 We’re being followed
🤖 I told her not to go
🤖 That’s not ladylike!
🤖 Time to put the shield up
🤖 Princess Vespa, get back!
🤖 Chastity alarm activated!
Spaceballs Quotes We Ain’t Found
🧹 We ain’t found sh*t!
🧹 Comb the desert!
🧹 What are you idiots doing?
🧹 Sir, are we being too literal?
🧹 We’re following orders
🧹 We’ve lost the bleeps
🧹 We’ve lost the sweeps
🧹 And we’ve lost the creeps
🧹 You captured their stunt doubles!
🧹 Where is the radar?
🧹 Nothing to report, sir!
🧹 Still nothing!
🧹 Just sand, sir!
🧹 Desert for miles!
🧹 We combed it real good!
Barf Spaceballs Quotes
🐶 Barf! Not in here, mister! This is a Mercedes!
🐶 I’m a mog: half-man, half-dog
🐶 I’m my own best friend
🐶 It worked good, huh?
🐶 I always have coffee when I watch radar
🐶 Funny, she doesn’t look Druish
🐶 I can’t go into hyperspace
🐶 I’m a mog, I told you
🐶 Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
🐶 The minute we get outta here
🐶 That was pretty good for R2
🐶 Don’t leave me on this planet!
🐶 I knew it! I’m surrounded by assholes!
🐶 I’m not doing this for money
🐶 I’ll watch the ship
Famous Spaceballs Quotes
📽️ May the Schwartz be with you
📽️ I see your Schwartz is as big as mine
📽️ Ludicrous speed, go!
📽️ Prepare ship for ludicrous speed
📽️ We ain’t found sh*t!
📽️ I’m surrounded by assholes!
📽️ Merchandising!
📽️ She’s gone from suck to blow!
📽️ You idiots! You captured their stunt doubles!
📽️ I bet she gives great helmet
📽️ Pizza the Hutt ate himself to death
📽️ You call this a radar?
📽️ Spaceballs the T-shirt!
📽️ That’s not just any helmet!
Conclusion
Whether you’re revisiting Spaceballs or quoting it for laughs, these unforgettable lines are sure to deliver nostalgia and humor every time.
Each character added their own flair to the absurdity, making Spaceballs one of the most quotable comedies of all time.
Now go forth—and may the Schwartz be with you!
