If you’re a fan of Spaceballs, you’re likely searching for the most memorable, hilarious, and iconic quotes from this sci fi parody masterpiece.
This list will save you time by gathering the funniest and most quotable lines all in one place.
From Dark Helmet’s absurd threats to Barf’s classic one liners, these quotes will reignite your love for the film and give you plenty to laugh about.
If you’re looking to relive the best scenes or share witty references with friends, this collection of Spaceballs quotes is exactly what you need for a blast of comedy nostalgia.
Best Spaceballs Quotes
⭐ May the Schwartz be with you
⭐ I see your Schwartz is as big as mine
⭐ Ludicrous speed, go!
⭐ Prepare ship for ludicrous speed
⭐ Keep firing, assholes!
⭐ Comb the desert!
⭐ We’re not just doing this for money
⭐ She’s gone from suck to blow!
⭐ Yogurt! I hate Yogurt!
⭐ You idiots! You captured their stunt doubles!
⭐ Merchandising! Merchandising!
⭐ I’m surrounded by assholes!
⭐ Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Star
⭐ Out of order?! F**k! Even in the future nothing works!
Funniest Spaceballs Humor Lines
- May the Schwartz be with you
- I am your father
- She’s my sister and my lover
- Keep firing until you hit something
- No children in the cockpit
- Light speed isn’t fast enough
- I’m surrounded by idiots
- What the hell is a Schwartz anyway
- Prepare to face the wrath of my enormous laser
- I’m not bald, I’m just taller than my hair
- We’ve got a lot of ground to cover
- Don’t be ridiculous, Lone Starr
- Never fear, I am here to save the day
- I see your Schwartz is as big as mine
- That’s a lovely new signature you got there
Iconic Character & Star Cast Quotes
- Lone Starr is my name, saving the galaxy is my game
- Dark Helmet always wins
- Dot Matrix, scan for trouble
- Yogurt has the power
- Colonel Sandurz will not fail again
- Dot Matrix is my loyal companion
- I prefer the dramatic entrance
- Captain Lone Starr reporting for duty
- Dark Helmet, your ship is under arrest
- Yogurt teaches the way of the Schwartz
- Lone Starr never gives up
- Colonel Sandurz is very brave
- Dark Helmet loves a good disguise
- Dot Matrix always has the answers
- Princess Vespa knows how to handle trouble
Spaceballs Quotes Funny
😂 I’m your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate
😂 How many assholes we got on this ship anyway?
😂 Helmet! What happened?
😂 I bet she gives great helmet
😂 We ain’t found sh*t!
😂 Say goodbye to your two best friends
😂 I knew it, I’m surrounded by assholes!
😂 Knock on my door! Knock next time!
😂 She doesn’t look Druish
😂 Funny, she doesn’t look Druish
😂 There goes the planet
😂 What’s the matter, Colonel Sanders? Chicken?
😂 My hair! He shot my hair!
😂 I can’t breathe in this thing!
😂 Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz
Funny Spaceballs Quotes
🤣 Yogurt has taught you well
🤣 Spaceballs the T-shirt, Spaceballs the coloring book
🤣 We’re not just doing this for money
🤣 It’s Mega Maid! She’s gone from suck to blow
🤣 Why didn’t someone tell me my ass was so big?
🤣 Even in the future nothing works
🤣 Barf! Barf!
🤣 A Druish princess?
🤣 You call this a radar?
🤣 Smoke if you got ’em
🤣 Pizza the Hutt ate himself to death
🤣 He’s an asshole, sir!
🤣 Now you see that evil will always triumph
🤣 Raspberry! Only one man would dare give me the raspberry
🤣 Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become!
John Candy, Bill Pullman & Rick Moranis Quotes
- Barf loves to cuddle
- Lone Starr saves the day, every day
- Dark Helmet strikes again
- Dot Matrix, activate the shields
- Yogurt always has a plan
- Stop right there, evil doer
- This is not the droid you are looking for
- Who put the fun in dysfunctional
- I can handle this, barely
- Laugh or cry, it’s your choice
- Even evil has style
- Keep your friends close and Barf closer
- Yogurt teaches patience and wisdom
- Captain Lone Starr is unstoppable
- Dark Helmet has style and flair
Cult Classic Comedy & Sci-Fi Spoof Quotes
- Spaceballs is a cult classic comedy line
- Even chaos can be entertaining
- Humor conquers fear and darkness
- A small step can lead to greatness
- Stop panicking, the Schwartz will guide us
- Teamwork saves the galaxy
- Bravery is doing the right thing, not the easy thing
- Courage is facing the unknown
- Keep moving forward, always
- Laughter makes the journey lighter
- Believe in yourself, even in space
- No mission is impossible
- Spaceballs parody quotes never get old
- Sci fi comedy film quotes always make us laugh
- The galaxy is huge, so are my responsibilities
Spaceballs Quotes Plaid
🌀 They’ve gone to plaid!
🌀 Prepare ship for ludicrous speed
🌀 What the hell was that?
🌀 They’ve gone past light speed
🌀 They’ve gone to… what?!
🌀 Light speed is too slow
🌀 What happened? I lost the bleeps, I lost the sweeps, and I lost the creeps
🌀 What the hell am I looking at?
🌀 We’re going too fast
🌀 Slow it down after we’ve passed them
🌀 Stop this thing!
🌀 Ludicrous speed is dangerous
🌀 We’ve passed them!
🌀 It’s plaid!
🌀 I told you never to go to ludicrous speed!
Dark Helmet Spaceballs Quotes
🛡️ I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate
🛡️ Prepare ship for ludicrous speed
🛡️ I see your Schwartz is as big as mine
🛡️ Evil will always triumph
🛡️ You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine
🛡️ Say goodbye to your two best friends
🛡️ I bet she gives great helmet
🛡️ Knock on my door!
🛡️ No, I didn’t see you playing with your dolls
🛡️ Who made that man a gunner?
🛡️ I can’t breathe in this thing!
🛡️ Now you see that evil will always triumph
🛡️ My hair!
🛡️ Keep firing, assholes!
🛡️ Raspberry! Only one man would dare…
Fan-Favorite & Movie Dialogue Quotes
- I’m surrounded by fools, but I love them anyway
- You’ve got the Schwartz, don’t waste it
- Dot Matrix, activate battle mode
- Lone Starr saves the day, every day
- Dark Helmet strikes again
- Yogurt knows all, warns all
- Colonel Sandurz is unstoppable
- The galaxy loves a hero
- Laugh or cry, it’s your choice
- Even evil has style
- Spaceballs forever, never forgotten
- Humor conquers the universe
- Sometimes chaos is the best plan
- Stay sharp, or get schooled by Dark Helmet
- The adventure never ends
NSFW, Comedy Movie Dialogue & Movie Quote Compilations
- May the Schwartz be with you
- I am your father
- She’s my sister and my lover
- Keep firing until you hit something
- No children in the cockpit
- Light speed isn’t fast enough
- I’m surrounded by idiots
- Prepare to face the wrath of my enormous laser
- Don’t be ridiculous, Lone Starr
- Never fear, I am here to save the day
- What the hell is a Schwartz anyway
- Even evil has style
- Humor conquers darkness
- Laugh or cry, it’s your choice
- Barf loves to cuddle
Dot Matrix Spaceballs Quotes
🤖 I don’t see them, Princess
🤖 I’m programmed for etiquette, not combat
🤖 Here, let me help you with that
🤖 What the hell was that noise?
🤖 I can’t believe you said that!
🤖 Nobody give me lip but me!
🤖 You’re going to have to marry him
🤖 If you don’t mind me saying so
🤖 I’ll alert the media
🤖 We’re being followed
🤖 I told her not to go
🤖 That’s not ladylike!
🤖 Time to put the shield up
🤖 Princess Vespa, get back!
🤖 Chastity alarm activated!
Spaceballs Quotes We Ain’t Found
🧹 We ain’t found sh*t!
🧹 Comb the desert!
🧹 What are you idiots doing?
🧹 Sir, are we being too literal?
🧹 We’re following orders
🧹 We’ve lost the bleeps
🧹 We’ve lost the sweeps
🧹 And we’ve lost the creeps
🧹 You captured their stunt doubles!
🧹 Where is the radar?
🧹 Nothing to report, sir!
🧹 Still nothing!
🧹 Just sand, sir!
🧹 Desert for miles!
🧹 We combed it real good!
Barf Spaceballs Quotes
🐶 Barf! Not in here, mister! This is a Mercedes!
🐶 I’m a mog: half-man, half-dog
🐶 I’m my own best friend
🐶 It worked good, huh?
🐶 I always have coffee when I watch radar
🐶 Funny, she doesn’t look Druish
🐶 I can’t go into hyperspace
🐶 I’m a mog, I told you
🐶 Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
🐶 The minute we get outta here
🐶 That was pretty good for R2
🐶 Don’t leave me on this planet!
🐶 I knew it! I’m surrounded by assholes!
🐶 I’m not doing this for money
🐶 I’ll watch the ship
Famous Spaceballs Quotes
📽️ May the Schwartz be with you
📽️ I see your Schwartz is as big as mine
📽️ Ludicrous speed, go!
📽️ Prepare ship for ludicrous speed
📽️ We ain’t found sh*t!
📽️ I’m surrounded by assholes!
📽️ Merchandising!
📽️ She’s gone from suck to blow!
📽️ You idiots! You captured their stunt doubles!
📽️ I bet she gives great helmet
📽️ Pizza the Hutt ate himself to death
📽️ You call this a radar?
📽️ Spaceballs the T-shirt!
📽️ That’s not just any helmet!
Conclusion
Whether you’re revisiting Spaceballs or quoting it for laughs, these unforgettable lines are sure to deliver nostalgia and humor every time.
Each character added their own flair to the absurdity, making Spaceballs one of the most quotable comedies of all time.
Now go forth and may the Schwartz be with you!
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Silva is a passionate writer and thinker dedicated to capturing the essence of life through inspiring quotes and reflections. With a keen eye for words that motivate, uplift, and spark meaningful thought, Silva shares insights that resonate deeply with readers seeking positivity, wisdom, and self-growth. At quoteblom.com, Silva’s work brings a blend of creativity and authenticity, making every quote a moment of inspiration.
