If you’re a fan of absurd humor, witty British comedy, and timeless quotes, then these Monty Python quotes are exactly what your brain needs in 2025!
From the Knights Who Say Ni to dead parrots and Holy Grails, this legendary troupe redefined comedy with lines that still go viral today.
If you’re quoting them at parties or just need a laugh in your feed, these gems will remind you why Monty Python is still the gold standard in satirical brilliance.
Best Monty Python Quotes
- 😂 Always look on the bright side of life
- 🎭 Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition
- 🧠 It’s just a flesh wound
- 🗡 I fart in your general direction
- 🧀 Blessed are the cheesemakers
- 🤯 What have the Romans ever done for us
- 🪓 Bring out your dead
- 🏹 Run away
- 🕊 I’m not dead yet
- 👑 Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government
- 💬 This is an ex-parrot
- 🧹 She turned me into a newt… I got better
- 😵 He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy
- 🪨 Help help I’m being repressed
- 👃 Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries
Famous Monty Python Quotes
- 👀 Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition
- 🤡 And now for something completely different
- 🪦 I’m not dead yet
- 🕊 It’s just a flesh wound
- 🧀 Blessed are the cheesemakers
- 🤯 What have the Romans ever done for us
- 🎬 This is an ex-parrot
- 🧹 She turned me into a newt
- 🧑⚖️ Help help I’m being repressed
- 📜 Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords
- 🗣 I fart in your general direction
- 🧠 My brain hurts
- 🥸 I wish to register a complaint
- 🙃 Nudge nudge, wink wink
- 😂 Always look on the bright side of life
Monty Python Quotes About Life
- 😇 Always look on the bright side of life
- 💭 Life’s a piece of… when you look at it
- 📖 Blessed are the meek
- 🤔 What have the Romans ever done for us
- 🧀 Blessed are the cheesemakers
- 🧠 My brain hurts
- 💀 I’m not dead yet
- 👼 He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy
- 👀 Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke
- 🧹 She turned me into a newt
- 🪦 Bring out your dead
- 🤡 And now for something completely different
- 🧑⚖️ Help help I’m being repressed
- 🕊 It’s just a flesh wound
- 😵 People aren’t wearing enough hats
Monty Python Quotes Holy Grail
- ⚔ It’s just a flesh wound
- 🏃♂️ Run away
- 🕊 I’m not dead yet
- 🛡 Your mother was a hamster
- 👑 Strange women lying in ponds
- 🧹 She turned me into a newt
- 🤺 Help help I’m being repressed
- 🗣 I fart in your general direction
- 🪓 Bring out your dead
- 🎯 None shall pass
- 🧠 What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow
- 🔔 We are the knights who say Ni
- 🧙♂️ There are some who call me… Tim
- 🪞 Get on with it
- 🧑🌾 How do you know he’s a king
Funny Monty Python Quotes
- 😂 Always look on the bright side of life
- 😜 I fart in your general direction
- 🧹 She turned me into a newt
- 🕊 I’m not dead yet
- 🤡 And now for something completely different
- 🤪 My brain hurts
- 🐦 What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow
- 🧀 Blessed are the cheesemakers
- 🗣 This is an ex-parrot
- 🥸 I wish to register a complaint
- 🤓 Nudge nudge, wink wink
- 🧛♂️ Bring out your dead
- 🪓 None shall pass
- 🧙♂️ There are some who call me Tim
- 👑 Strange women lying in ponds
Monty Python Quotes Swallow
- 🐦 What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow
- 🤔 African or European
- 🧠 How do you know so much about swallows
- 💨 A five-ounce bird cannot carry a one-pound coconut
- 🪶 It could grip it by the husk
- 🎯 Are you suggesting coconuts migrate
- 🧺 Perhaps it used a strand of creeper
- 🧚♂️ Swallows are non-migratory
- 🐣 A swallow carrying a coconut
- 📚 Swallow carrying capacity theory
- 🛡 I don’t know that
- ⚰ Auuuuuuuugh
- 🧍♂️ A simple question of weight ratios
- 🤷♂️ I don’t suppose we’ll ever know
- 🧪 The swallow equation is hypothetical
Holy Grail Monty Python Quotes
- ⚔ None shall pass
- 🗡 It’s just a flesh wound
- 🪓 Bring out your dead
- 👑 Strange women lying in ponds
- 🧙♂️ There are some who call me Tim
- 🧍 Help help I’m being repressed
- 🧠 What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow
- 🧹 She turned me into a newt
- 🏃♂️ Run away
- 🧑🌾 How do you know he’s a king
- 🎯 We are the knights who say Ni
- 🔔 Get on with it
- 🛡 I fart in your general direction
- 🕊 I’m not dead yet
- 😈 Brave Sir Robin ran away
Black Knight Monty Python Quotes
- 🗡 It’s just a flesh wound
- ⚔ None shall pass
- 🩸 Tis but a scratch
- 🦵 I’ve had worse
- 😤 Come back here and take what’s coming to you
- 🧱 I’ll bite your legs off
- 🧍♂️ Stand and fight
- 🧨 Had enough, eh
- 🪓 Right I’ll do you for that
- 🧠 Chicken
- 🔥 Running away, eh
- 🪖 Coward
- 😈 You yellow bastard
- 🎯 You shall not pass
- 🧙♂️ You make me sad
King Arthur Monty Python Quotes
- 👑 Strange women lying in ponds
- 🏰 Camelot! It’s only a model
- 🧑🌾 How do you know he’s a king
- 🎯 You make me sad
- 🧹 I am Arthur, King of the Britons
- 🪓 I seek the Holy Grail
- 🔔 On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot
- 🧙♂️ Old woman! Man!
- 🎬 What is your name
- 🤴 I have no quarrel with you
- ⚔ I must speak with your lord and master
- 🧠 Who’s that then
- 🧛♂️ Brave Sir Robin joined King Arthur
- 🎩 Be quiet, I order you
- 🛡 This new learning amazes me
Conclusion
Monty Python’s quotes have endured through generations, reminding us that humor can be both sharp and silly.
If you’re laughing at political satire or medieval nonsense, their wit never misses.
These classic lines offer endless joy—perfect for quoting with friends, memes, or simply lightening your day.
Keep the absurdity alive and share the madness!
